Rules of Engagement

I never really get used to it. When I was growing up in New York, it was “hey, aren’t you related to so and so (insert name of well-known family member).” As a child, these moments reinforced the idea that I represented my family and that my family impacted how I interacted with people around me. As an adult, the illusion of public anonymity is pierced by the question, "Aren't you Rachel Pienta?" or sometimes, "Aren't you wakullawriter (on Twitter)?"

Such a moment last night spurred me to consider how the way I engage with the community has evolved over the years. I was out celebrating a friend’s birthday at a local watering hole. Late in the evening, someone approached me and said, “Aren’t you Rachel Pienta?”  In general, these conversations range from someone who has read my writing, taken a class with me, or wants to compliment or complain about some decision I made related to one of my community leadership roles.  On this particular night, it was a former university student from some time ago. She had nice things to say about a special topics course in Women’s Studies that Florida State had let me design and teach every few semesters during the 2000s.  In one respect, the interaction was a perfect little snapshot illustrating the impact educators can have on students’ lives.  For me, it was also a reminder that at any given moment communities can intersect and my past can collide with my present.

Over the years, I have had some amazing opportunities that have given me the chance to play a relatively public role in several communities. Of all these opportunities, teaching might have been the most rewarding and the most challenging work I have done.

That said, in my current position my focus is community engagement The work I am doing now brings together all the experience and skills from teaching, writing, and serving the community under one large umbrella.  Living and working in this new role has made me think about community engagement in a very intentional way.

Part of this thought process has been an exercise in deciding on my personal “rules of engagement.” There have been some hard questions to consider.  I am still working on determining many of the answers.

One of the best investments of time and money I made in a tool to help me navigate my role when I embarked on this new adventure was to join Rotary.  This year, I have often found myself thinking about the Four Way Test “Of the things we think, say or do”:

Is it the TRUTH?
Is it FAIR to all concerned?
Will it build GOODWILL and BETTER FRIENDSHIPS?
Will it be BENEFICIAL to all concerned?

One of the basic “rules of engagement” I have been trying to use as a guide is to think very carefully about my purpose in offering up any sort of public criticism.  If I can offer public praise but proffer criticism, constructive or otherwise, in private then I try to take that road. Sometimes circumstances dictate another course of action and that sort of situation poses different challenges.


My hope is that if I keep the Four Way Test in mind and engage with the community in a thoughtful, purpose-driven manner, that those occasions when people approach me and ask “Are you Rachel Pienta?” will be positive moments. 

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